Events

Excitement From A Quote About Charity

The Beanery Corvallis

Dear Mr. President, There are too many states nowadays. Please, eliminate three. P.S. I am not a crackpot. You don't win friends with salad. I'm a Spalding Gray in a Rick Dees world. D'oh. A lifetime of working with nuclear power has left me with a healthy green glow…and left me as impotent as a Nevada boxing commissioner. No children have ever meddled with the Republican Party and lived to tell about it.

Excitement From A Quote About Charity

Winchester Mystery House San Jose

What's the point of going out? We're just going to wind up back here anyway. I'm going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes! And now, in the spirit of the season: start shopping. And for every dollar of Krusty merchandise you buy, I will be nice to a sick kid. For legal purposes, sick kids may include hookers with a cold. The Internet King? I wonder if he could provide faster nudity… Yes! I am a citizen! Now which way to the welfare office? I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I work, I work.

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